The Kamachi Crossover Bar
by RakuKonpaku
Summary: Outside of both time and space lies the Hero's Bar & Grill at the Edge of Time and Space, a fancy place in desperate need of a shorter name where heroes from various realities gather to relax, eat, drink, and share their stories away from the worries of their daily lives. Just a crossover of Kamachi's works that will be a collection of short stories as they come to mind. Spoilers.
1. Prologue

Hello all, just a quick thing I'm posting here to have it in place for later. This is an idea I've been kicking around since I thought of some funny short interactions between different Kamachi characters. Honestly, this first part proved to be really tricky to write since I busted it out in just a couple hours of boredom but a boring introduction was needed for the backdrop. I don't know how often I will be updating this, and rather than focusing on any characters in particular, it will float around all over the place, so bear that in mind. Anyway, I have a few ideas in place that will be posted at some point or another as I get around to it. They most likely will be short for the most part, so don't get too disappointed at brief updates.

Ramblings aside, read and if you can, enjoy this boring introduction to the Kamachi Crossover Bar.

Now that I look, there is no category on this site for Zashiki Warashi from what I saw. How would I go about getting one up? I have a couple ideas in mind for that series once the translations are finished.

* * *

The possibility of alternate or parallel realities has been something that has piqued the interest of humans around the world for uncountable generations. To think, a world just like our own but with some sort of massive difference in history, or perhaps a world where magic has always existed. A simple curiosity, only now some people are living it due to the reality bending power of protagonists.

* * *

"Hey, where is this place anyway?"

Sitting in the stylish dark blue parlor of a dimly lit bar was a young man with spiky black hair. He wore simple black slacks and a white button down shirt covered by a grey hooded sweater that, in turn, was covered by a black school jacket. He looked around the place and took in the sights.

The dim bar had a simple, but somewhat fancy, motif of dark blue and wood. On one side was the main bar that he sat at with a large variety of drinks and mixes organized behind the bartender. The bartender himself seemed to have some sort of identity hiding magic since while his face was not covered, the young man could not make out any details whatsoever. As well, behind the bar was a loose door with a small kitchen sign above it. In front of the bar were many simple padded stools, and further out from there was the main dining area filler with tables, chairs and booths. Everything there kept with the same style of dark blue and wood, and the lighting was handled by some stylish electric(?) chandeliers.

The boy at the stool was interrupted from his observations by the bartender finally addressing him. "Hello boy, welcome to the Hero's Bar & Grill at the Edge of Time and Space…We really need a new name for this joint, I guess just calling us the Hero's Bar works. Anyway, you're a new face around here, introduce yourself to me." The young boy sat there blankly staring at the featureless bartender before finally recovering and replying.

"Uhh, my name is Kamijou Touma, going by the Japanese standard of family name first, so I guess depending on which way your culture or language is it'd probably be easier if I just said my given name is Touma." Despite not knowing where he was exactly or how he got here, he couldn't help but politely introduce himself. He felt that the bartender probably smiled, and the man in a fancy bartender outfit spread his arms and asked for an order.

"Welcome. Well, anyway now that you're here why don't you get a drink? We have all sorts of stuff from all sorts of realities and times, so if you want it we should have it. Oh, and don't worry about paying or anything, if you've made it here you've no doubt earned it in some way or another." Kamijou blankly stared again before ordering a simple soda. He idly sipped at it when a door opened in one of the walls and two young men in grey patterned camouflage uniforms walked in.

Kamijou faintly remembered the pair from the time he was thrust into a fantasy land that seemed to be based on Norse mythology. As one who has seen all sorts of, for lack of a better term, shit, he couldn't help but wonder just why he always got involved in weird situations. He continued to drink his soda if only to keep something in his life "normal" as the bartender greeted the new arrivals.

"Welcome, to the Hero's Bar & Grill at the Edge of Time and Space, or 'Hero's Bar' for short. Come, come get a drink we have all sorts of good stuff, paid for in advance by your heroic deeds and valor. Oh, before that why don't you introduce yourselves, we all should get along here yes?" The two young men exchanged a confused glance before walking up and sitting to Kamijou's right. First, the blonde one introduced himself.

"I'm Quenser Barbotage, battlefield student and combat engineer of the Legitimacy Kingdom's 37th C.M.B." After he finished, his brown-haired and more muscled partner further to the right spoke up and introduced himself as well. "And I'm Heivia Winchell, allegedly a radio operator of the same unit but I spend more time keeping this idiot alive on the front lines dealing with giant death bots." The two ordered some simple beer as they struck up conversation with Kamijou.

"Hey come to think of it you were there when we got stuck in that weird fantasy land weren't you? I guess being sent to other realities is something we're gonna have to get used to, huh." Quenser started up when he recognized Touma from their previous excursion into another realm. Before they could actually start talking, however, another door popped out from a different wall and another blonde young man walked in. Yet unlike Quenser, his hair seemed to be dyed blonde rather than natural. The new arrival blankly looked around, saw the bar and seemed to decide to roll with the situation as he walked up to the bar and took a seat as he started talking.

"Hey, hey, now this is interesting. I haven't seen you guys since that weird time I got frozen and woke up in some weird fantasy afterlife then got brought back into the middle of a battlefield. How's it been, your good friend Jinnai Shinobu is here!" Shinobu took a moment to shake the hands of the people he was somewhat familiar with before sitting down and addressing the bartender.

"So, uh, where is this anyway? I saw a door in the middle of the road and walked inside on a good feeling. It's a pretty nice place though if I say so myself." At the inquiry, the bartender started to say something when Heivia cut in. "The bartender said it was some sort of 'Hero Bar' or something, I'm not too sure myself but we've all gotten involved in reality hopping before so who knows." The bartender seemed to pout at being interrupted despite the fact that he didn't actually seem to have a face. After Shinobu looked his way, he cleared his throat and started up his introduction again.

"Welcome, to the Hero's Bar & Grill at the Edge of Time and Space, or 'Hero's Bar' for short. We have all sorts of food and drink completely paid in advance by your heroic deeds and valor. We have all sorts of stuff from all sorts of realities so order what you want and we'll make it work. On a slightly different, note, I believe you guys are all who were invited for today, so I guess I should finally explain a bit better." The guests all looked at each other before wordlessly encouraging the bartender to go on.

"Ahem, this place is one for heroes such as yourselves to sit down, relax, and share some stories. Think of this place as a bastion of respite to get away from your hectic days of whatever crazy situations you ended up in. Other people recognized for their deeds will find their way here sometimes, so you can pass some free time sharing stories or tips on how to get out of your jams. Do not worry about paying for any of the food or drink here, since as I said earlier it is paid for by your heroism. That said if you make a mess I will have you clean it up with your bare hands." The boys obediently nodded at the warning tone of the bartender at the end of his jovial explanation. "Oh, before I forget here are the whistles to make your way here. Just find a place nobody will see and blow on them to call the door. Time is relative here, so you will find yourself back when you originally left, and you will find that you do not age here, though don't get any ideas about abusing that." The bartender handed the young men some plain silver whistles that seemed to vanish when they grabbed them. "Oh, right, they attune themselves to your soul, or something along that line. When you wish to come here, they will manifest, so don't worry about it. That also includes your right hand, young Imagine Breaker, so don't worry about it."

After the explanation and introductions, the guests all ordered some food and started chatting. This would prove to be a much welcome time of relaxation, friendship, and quite a bit of scheming for those currently present and the other various heroes that would come to the Hero's Bar & Grill at the Edge of Time and Space.

They still need to find a shorter name for the place though.


	2. Drinking

Hello all, figured I'd do a quick update just to give an idea of what kind of silly short stories I'll be posting. Honestly I just busted this out in about an hour but it was a pretty simple thing so hopefully it didn't turn out too bad. I guess a short list of some of the ideas in my head wouldn't be amiss so here's a few.

-Hayabusa getting to use the Dragon Rider

-Hamazura and Stephanie joining Quenser and Heivia (possibly in Lost Angels for some real fun times)

-Non-Blood-Related Imouto Alliance

Just to name a few, though I don't know what order or how quick I'll be making these since as soon as js06 finishes translating Zashiki I got a couple ideas just burning in my mind right now for that series specifically.

Anyway, unneeded talking aside read and enjoy.

* * *

In the dimly lit bar residing outside the bounds of time and space, several young men were gathered. On the right side sat two in green military camouflage, one blonde and the other with brown hair. To their left sat two other boys with dyed blonde hair, one wore jeans and a white button down shirt, the other wore jeans with a brown coat. Despite all being underage, they all were drinking alcohol since the bar did not worry about petty laws when it came to serving fine drinks. They had been spending time exchanging stories, and currently, the dyed blonde delinquent in the brown coat, Hamazura Shiage, was describing one of his experiences.

"So anyway, things were getting a bit rough y'know? I had to catch up to them quick and they were in a powered suit, but I managed to get on top of a truck carrying some very nice gear. I open it up and what do you know, it's a cutting-edge motorcycle, all strapped up and ready to rock."

The other boys all lit up at the mention of a high-tech motorcycle. Regardless of their worlds or backgrounds, men still loved the feel of speed. The other blonde delinquent sitting to the left of Hamazura, Jinnai Shinobu, laughed and added in.

"Man, if we weren't drinking I'd go get my uncle for this one, I heard he was really notorious for being crazy on a motorcycle back in his younger days. He'd probably get mad at us for drinking while minors though since he is a cop."

Hamazura nervously smiled a bit at the mention of the police, but stopped worrying about it since his days as a thug were long past. He took a quick swig of the beer in front of him as he started talking again.

"Ah I'll tell him about it later, so anyway, I tell the guys transporting it why I needed it yeah? Turns out those guys were getting sick of their work being used for dirty jobs the dark side of the city, so when they realized I was heading out to save somebody, they helped me out. They called it the Dragon Rider, turns out it was more like a powered suit with a motorcycle added on than the other way around, but that tech was seriously scary. It honestly was like it was controlling me more than the other way around, of course there's no way anybody would be able to work at those speeds if it wasn't something like that. It also apparently had systems to keep me calm and read my thoughts since it pulled up information from my phone when I thought about it, but anyway, I was speeding to catch up…"

To the right, the blonde tech pervert Quenser Barbotage started breathing heavily as his friend Heivia Winchell started slowly scooting away from him in disgust. The four youths continued to relax and talk for well over an hour when one of the walls opened up as a door and a haggard looking youth with spiky black hair staggered in. Hamazura was the first to greet the new arrival.

"Hey boss, looking a bit run-down there, you okay?" The newcomer, Kamijou Touma, briefly glanced at the delinquent who greeted him as he staggered over to the far left side of the bar and put his head in his hands. The four youths who were there before him looked at each other then back to the guy sulking in the corner. They could faintly hear Kamijou ranting under his breath.

"…Attendance, Komoe is saying things are getting too bleak for even her to have hope? Just how screwed am I? That damn mummy screwed my extra-credit when he crushed the school building and now I'm probably going to be held back…This really is a bad bout of misfortune, what the hell am I going to do to turn this around? No, don't despair, you've stopped World War 3 and suffered infinite hells to understand a god, surely you can make a comeback here right…?"

Despite saying that he survived much worse in his rant, the young man had sunk into despair at the fairly mundane problem of being held back in high school. Quenser and Shinobu got up from their chairs and moved over to comfort the young man.

"Don't worry, just bring some extra work here and we'll help you out man. I figure we can at least make it a little easier on ya, I guess schools don't list 'saving the world' as a valid reason for absence. Kind of a rip off if you ask me." Shinobi offered his help as he wrapped he arm around Kamijou's shoulders. Quenser put a hand on the other shoulder and nodded his head in agreement. To their right, Hamazura looked at his drink, then at Kamijou, then back to his drink then put a hand to his chin in thought.

"Hey…is there any way we can go to each others' worlds for a bit?" He directed his question at the featureless bartender who was calmly wiping down a glass. The man put down the glass and replied. "Yes, though only for a short time and only as long as you don't cause too much trouble, why?"

Hamazura's face lit up with a smile as he ordered another alcoholic drink and brought it over to Kamijou. "Hey boss, have a drink and forget your troubles for a day, eh? Here, some good stuff." He put the glass of booze down on the counter and Kamijou downed it in one go. The spiky-haired boy started to teeter a bit in his chair as the alcohol took effect. Hamazura addressed the other young men in the room and moved towards a door that appeared in the wall. "Hey guys, let's go out to town for a night, see what we can do."

The other guys shrugged and tagged along, going through the door and arriving in a city of students and technology; "Welcome, to Academy City, this is where me and the boss live." Hamazura turned around and introduced his city to the other heroes. Before the other youths could express any opinion however, Kamijou had already started wandering off in a drunken stagger. Hamazura's grin grew wider as he beckoned the others to follow. "Watch this."

Over the course of the next twenty minutes, the drunken Kamijou had already managed to gather up at least five different girls from the streets. Shinobu, Heivia and Quenser all looked on in stunned silence at the prowess of the inebriated Kamijou. The first to speak up was Shinobu.

"Damn, I thought I had the game down but this here is a true master…" Heiva was the next to respond, though it was directed at Shinobu as much it was at the drunk in front of them. "You'll have to give me some tips, I haven't been having much luck though that would probably also have to do with being in the military." At that statement, Quenser punched him in the back and spoke up, "Shut up, you're engaged already, I could use those pointers better than you."

The four followed their drunken friend from a distance while bickering and admiring his "work". Over the course of an hour, Kamijou had accumulated almost twenty different girls clinging to him like a magnet through iron sand. The boy had eventually staggered home and shook off all of his sudden escorts without a word. As the various attractive females slowly scattered, the other young men all had a common thought.

" _I just saw a real pro at work"_


	3. Quick Bits 1

Hello all, quick update here. This time is a few short ideas that sprung up but I didn't really think were enough to stand as their own chapter.

If you didn't notice, the translations for Zashiki Warashi have finished except for the extra chapter that was posted online, so I'll likely start to work on a couple fics specific to that series after I finish up the next chapter of _A More Forceful Offer_. Speaking of which, I'm almost done with the next chapter, though I'm at the hardest part for sure so who knows how it will end up.

Anyway, these are a few quickies a wrote out in about an hour just to have something out. Unrelated, but I really hope js06 picks up Blood Sign again, I liked what I read of it, especially since Kyousuke felt like how I imagined post-NT10 Touma to be.

Ramblings aside, read and enjoy.

 _ **WARNING, SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR ZASHIKI WARASHI VOL 5 IN THE THIRD PART, EVEN IF IT WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE UNTIL YOU READ IT ANYWAY.**_

 _ **IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ZASHIKI WARASHI, GET ON IT. IT'S GOOD.**_

* * *

 **Misunderstandings**

Sitting at the bar with drink in hand were two men in their twenties. On the left was a man in a cheap suit with a martini sitting on the table in front of him. This was the veteran detective who had brought many youkai related cases to a close; Detective Uchimaku Hayabusa. To his right sat a gloomy looking man dressed in what could best be described as a SWAT-uniform with charms and spiritual items in place of grenades and magazines. This man was one of the top-5 combat members of the spiritual organization that helped preserve the peace of Japan against those who would wield the supernatural for the wrong purposes; he was simply known as the Illness Magic User. In front of him was a simple udon dish with no major strengths or weaknesses in taste or texture.

Illness Magic User sighed as he lowered his head to the bar counter while Hayabusa tried not to make a comment. Eventually, the detective got tired of waiting and spoke up.

"So…why did you want to talk to me today? I can't see somebody like you needing much in the way of help from somebody in a dead-end police job like me." The black-haired man downed his drink while waiting for a reply and ordered some food. Next to him, the Illness Magic User finally raised his head and wiped his face with his hands. The gloomy man took a deep breath through his nose slowly blinked before finally stating the reason he asked the detective to talk to him.

"This really is a problem outside of my field, but that annoying Hishigami woman said you were a good person to talk to about this…" Hayabusa felt the hair on his neck stand on edge at the mention of a Hishigami woman; only one came to mind that would be in contact with one of the top-5 of Hyakki Yakou.

 _Hishigami Mai, huh; I have a really bad feeling about this…_ The detective restrained himself from voicing his thoughts on the person who sent this potentially very scary man to him for advice. Hayabusa let the silence continue as he silently prompted for the Illness Magic User to continue. He tried to prepare his mind for whatever horrible situation the man had found himself in as he took a drink of water from the glass provided by the bartender.

"It seems my little sister has come to the conclusion that I'm into little girls. From what I've heard you're in a similar situation, is there any way you can suggest to clear this misunderstanding up?"

Hayabusa did a spit take, spraying water all over the counter and his food as he gagged on some that had gotten into his lungs. The featureless bartender apparently found the whole situation amusing as he did not get angry at the mess. The detective sunk his hands into his palms and rested his elbows on the counter while desperately trying to keep himself from crying. After a moment to try to compose himself, he slammed his hands onto the counter and shouted to the bartender

"Okay, to hell with this I am _not_ going through this conversation while sober. Master! Give me something really strong!"

With the help of strong drinks, the two misunderstood men bonded over their woes.

* * *

 **Similar**

Standing while looking at each other, two young women tilted their heads in confusion. One wore a school's sailor uniform with flowers on her head and a green armband pinned to her sleeve. The other wore a military uniform with white camouflage and an even whiter hooded jacket. Both the older woman in the military jacket and the teenage girl in the sailor uniform continued to tilt their heads from side to side before simultaneously reaching and pinching the others' cheek. The two reacted in the same way to the somewhat unexpected pain as they realized that they were both real. Neither spoke in that moment, but they had the same thought.

 _Odd, she looks really familiar for some reason._

* * *

 **Mad Scientists**

Two men in similar lab coats over cheap suits stood face to face. Both were blonde, but one's hair was obviously dyed and slicked back while the other's had a more natural hue and was loosely hanging just above his shoulders. The one with dyed hair adjusted the simple glasses on his face as he spoke.

"Quenser, I'd like you to tell me more about these 'Objects' that you've been designing. I've had to deal with a rather horrific catastrophe plaguing my homeland in my world. I've developed all sorts of technology to clean a completely contaminated area, but I still don't have the power to prevent the world from interfering after they destroyed my country and scattered my people." The man with dyed hair and glasses, Jinnai Shinobu, lowered his head to the natural blonde man in front of him. The other man, Quenser Barbotage, scratched his head as he asked a question.

"I can't just hand over the tech for an Object like that. In my world those monstrosities are synonymous with war, just why are you so obsessed with reclaiming your land anyway? You aren't going to go seeking revenge are you?" At this piercing question from Quenser, Shinobu raised his head, stared the other man straight in the face and gave a vicious smile as he replied.

"Of course not, I just want to return to the woman I love. You understand don't you my friend?"

At that statement, Quenser smiled back and the two firmly shook hands.

* * *

I should note I fully intend to write another part for Mad Scientists. Mad Scientist Shinobu is just too damn sexy, and I'm not even gay.


	4. Fanclub

Alright all, update time. I was originally going to make this a Zashiki Warashi only fic but I still have no real idea how to have that made into a category I can place it into so to hell with it I'll post it here!

For anybody who may not have noticed, js06 started translating another Kamachi work, _**The Unexplored Summon:/Blood-Sign**_ (未踏召喚:/ブラッドサイン), and I've really been enjoying it. I will not be putting Kyousuke into this series until translations catch up, but I will likely find a way to get him in once that happens since he feels a lot like how I imagined post-NT9 Touma to behave. It's fun seeing how Kamachi makes his different main characters feel different despite all being "heroes". Touma saves because it's only natural to him, Quenser and Heivia are often just fighting soldiers on the other side or preventing at least a city-destroying situation, Shinobu only really looks after himself and those close to him while Hayabusa is a more traditional hero and Mai is just a mercenary with little care. Contrasting those a bit is Kyousuke, who continues to save due to remorse as he feels responsible for half of the world's chaos. Anyway, it's really fun seeing an experienced hero getting shit done.

All that aside, read and enjoy part one of a set of chapters I have planned. Next up for this specific set: Illness Magic User, because I'm not letting another mature gentleman and wooer of lolis to go without his own chapter. I think I like these two too much.

* * *

 **Fanclub**

"11:20 AM, suspect unconscious and handcuffed." With his knee holding an unconscious man's back down, detective Uchimaku Hayabusa noted to himself the time of arrest. Within a few minutes, a police car had arrived to take the suspect away, and after his quarry had been passed on to the uniformed officers, the detective turned towards a young girl next to him and asked, "Are you okay?"

The girl in front of him was far shorter than him, only coming up to his chest, and her brown hair was tied back into a ponytail. She wore a school uniform that he recognized was to a prestigious girls' middle school that a few of his acquaintances attended. It also happened to be in front of that school during lunch time that he had chased down a stalker and made the arrest. The girl's face seemed to be slightly flushed, and she was fidgeting as she hesitated to look Hayabusa in the eye. She gulped and then took a deep breath with her hand on her chest before bowing deeply to the detective. "Thank you very much for helping me!"

Hayabusa gave a gentle smile before gesturing towards the school, and started escorting the unsteady girl towards the faculty room. _She must be shaken up quite a bit by that, they should probably let her rest today._ He idly thought as he noticed that the girl's face was still flushed and she seemed to be leaning on him for support quite a bit. After he passed on the young girl to the school's vice-principal and explained what happened, he started making his way off of the campus when he was greeted by a familiar voice.

"Why are you attracting even more girls detective!? Half of my school saw you out there and now I'm going to have even more competition!" The detective turned around in annoyance to find a twintailed girl wearing the same school uniform with black kneesocks. This girl was Hishigami Enbi, the mystery freak who always seemed to be around for a murder mystery, as well as a recently-added coworker of his. Standing in the hallway with her hands at her hips and a pout on her face, she confronted the man she constantly called her beloved. To her annoyance, she could see several other girls staring at the detective's back.

"Stop saying things that could be misunderstood so often, I already get enough trouble from the other officers at the station." He tried to brush off the young girl and make his way off of the campus, but she started following him while mumbling something. As he walked, he felt himself being watched but dismissed it as curiosity or nervousness of an adult policeman being on the campus of the all-girls' school. As the bell rang, Enbi finally turned around to head towards her class, but as she left he could hear her say something.

 _"_ _This is bad, this is very bad."_

He turned to look at her as she walked away and tilted his head in confusion. He quickly noticed several other girls he did not recognize staring at him from a hallway corner. Deciding it was nothing to worry about; he headed back out to what he was doing earlier.

It was a week later that he would find out why the Mystery Freak was so worried.

That day, about a week after arresting a stalker outside of a middle school, Hayabusa was walking to work instead of taking the train to break in a new cheap suit that was replacing his previous one due to damage. It was a walk he took fairly frequently due to often damaging suits as park of his work, but today he felt like he was being watched. Subtly glancing around, the only people he could identify as looking at him were girls from the same middle school he had been to just a week prior. _I guess I did cause a bit of a scuffle in front of the school, hopefully it's just curiosity._ He tried to ignore the ominous vibe he got as he spotted Enbi ranting about something to their mutual friend and colleague Hachikawa Tomoe; a serious girl with black braided hair and glasses. The detective slipped to a side street to avoid any more unneeded attention while making sure to not be spotted by the pouting Mystery Freak. Without any trouble, he made his way to his workplace.

Arriving at the station, Hayabusa saluted the guard at the door as he passed into the building and made his way towards his office. The day passed without much going on as he organized the information on various youkai that the 0-X office would possibly be dealing with. At around 3PM, the door burst open and Enbi rushed in followed closely by Tomoe and another one of their friends and colleagues, the quiet, black-haired Tsumada Mio.

"Detective, we have a huge problem!" At her shout, Hayabusa's head rose from his work and he stood up. "What problem? Judging by all of you coming together is there some sort of Package affecting students at your school?" He quickly put away the files he was sorting and put the folder to the side as he prepared to deal with whatever problem had sprung up. He was a trained police officer, and a veteran of various Package-related cases.

Unfortunately, no matter how experienced or trained someone may be, there were always situations outside of their field.

"There's a fan club dedicated to you that sprung up in my school after that arrest you made last week!"

…

…

"What…?"

The detective found himself unable to even begin to process a response to that sort of information. His eyebrow twitched and his jaw started to slack while the words slowly sank in. It took him a few minutes, and the girls started to poke him to wake him up, but he finally managed to respond. "Okay, okay, back up now. A fan club, focused on me, populated by girls from a middle school. This is a weird joke even for you Mystery Freak." Naturally, his first response was denial.

"It's not a joke, after seeing your dashing figure helping that classmate during lunch time, a lot of them started to ask us about you when they heard that we worked with you. I may have made a mistake by complying though, a lot of them started to get a bit _too_ interested in you." At Enbi's explanation, the detective brought his fingers to his forehead and tried to massage away an incoming headache. He sighed before replying "Are you really one to talk about too much interest Mystery Freak? You're no older than them and you've been doing the same thing for far longer! If you know something's weird stop doing it all the damn time!" He tried to lecture the girl, but she just pouted.

"I'm angry _because_ I've been interested for far longer; I don't need any more competition than I already have! I understand why they would all fall for you at a glance but I'm the only one for you!" Her self-centered logic only made his headache worse, and he sat down to cradle his head in his hands. While he sat there trying to compose himself, Tomoe and Mio nervously observed him while Enbi continued to pout. Their awkward silence was broken by a knock at the door as Chief Superintendent Mishima walked in with a bright smile on his face. At the presence of this man who loved to mess with him, Hayabusa worked even harder to keep his composure under control.

"Hi, Uchimaku-kun, it must be tough being so popular with the young ladies, I know I've told you before, but please refrain from doing anything untoward to them. It would be a terrible blow to our reputation if something were to happen." Hayabusa's despair only deepened as the man who was only a few steps from the top of the police ranks started to laugh a bit.

He only prayed it wouldn't get worse, but he should have remembered that the supernatural just loved to bully him wherever it could.


	5. Quick Bits 2

Hello all, finally another update. I was intending on writing a piece for Hayabusa and Enbi, but the detective's charms worked even faster than I originally thought so that sort of got shot down for now. Still, it gave opportunity for other ideas so I'll probably eventually get around to them sometime. I haven't really had much motivation to write, hence why it's taken so long for another update. The ideas I might work with next are;

Beach episode with the Hishigami women

Different MCs react to World Rejector (Kamisato really needs a good punch)

Swimsuit girls compare notes

And a few others. I've noticed I haven't really included the girls very often yet. Still, a lot of ideas are sitting to the side until Blood Sign translations catch up since I've been enjoying it a lot and I want to include those characters.

Anyway, I can't guarantee any updates anytime soon since I still have no motivation to write, so in the meantime read and enjoy.

* * *

 **I Couldn't Think of a Title**

"You're crazy."

"I know."

"Definitely crazy."

"I know"

"An absolute madman."

"I _know."_

At the main bar of the Hero's Bar & Grill, two men were seated with drinks on the counter in front of them. On the right with a glass of plain water sat a gloomy looking man with plain black hair in a SWAT uniform with charms and talismans in place of magazines and grenades. On the left with his face on the counter was another, less gloomy looking man who also had plain black hair and wore a simple black suit. The man on the right was known in the supernatural underground business as the Illness Magic User; one of the Top 5 of the massive organization Hyakki Yakou. The man on the left was police detective Uchimaki Hayabusa, the recently appointed leader of the experimental 0-X office in the Tokyo Metropolitan Police.

Currently, the detective was reevaluating some of his recent life choices. The Illness Magic User sitting to his right had become a bit of a confidant lately as they both bonded over their mutual struggle of attracting too many small girls. The Illness Magic User had been shaking his head for a while now when Hayabusa had stated that he intended to save all of the Hishigami women, including their mutual acquaintance Mai.

"I can do nothing else but wish you luck on this course you've set yourself on. Just the thought of being around so many people as annoying as Mai is enough to build up a lot of stress." The Illness Magic User spoke while slowly eating a plain salad. His gloomy eyes were fixed on the detective whose head was still firmly planted on the counter top. After a moment Hayabusa slowly raised his head and quickly downed a shot of a strong alcoholic drink.

"I mean, the whole family situation is fucked up so _somebody_ has to help them. Just, y'know, I don't get to be around guys that much anymore. Young people like my nephew talk about harems all day, but being surrounded by almost nobody but girls most of the time gets tiring!...I gotta say man, I really appreciate these talks. The only other guy I regularly talk to anymore is Mishima and that bastard was the one who set up this weird office with nothing but girls in the first place!"

Hayabusa spoke as the alcohol started to increasingly affect his speech. Over time, he became increasingly inebriated while the Illness Magic User started to hope that somebody else would arrive to help him deal with the drunken detective.

* * *

 **Mad Scientists 2**

Deep within the confines of a secret military bunker in Siberia, two individuals were having a bit of a reunion. Standing just inside of a destroyed door was a glamorous looking woman in clothing that was horribly out of place for the weather outside. Seated in front of her at a massive computer terminal was a man with dyed blonde hair and glasses that didn't match him wearing a lab coat over a cheap suit. The man, Jinnai Shinobu, did not even glance at the intruder that had just broken into the military compound to find him.

"You are not enough to defeat me, Mai." At his words, a large robot smashed through a wall and interposed itself between the two humans. Despite the massive piece of moving metal in front of her, the woman, Hishigami Mai, was still smiling. "That piece of junk isn't enough to deal with me. You should know better than that young man."

Despite the calm demeanor of his apparent enemy, the scientist still did not even glance at her. He took a sip from the coffee mug he held in his left hand as he tapped a few keys on the keyboard in front of him and placed his right hand on a scanner. At that action, a rumbling that felt like an earthquake started up. Behind him, a voluptuous beauty with horns and a tail in scant clothing appeared out of thin air and seductively wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Some sort of spell using the succubus? I'm even more disappointed Jinnai-kun, that just brings things even further into my territory." Hishigami Mai's smiled only widened at the apparent activation of a Package using the succubus, but he next words spoken by the captive scientist severely left her expectations.

"You have no way of knowing this, but I've traveled to another reality before. While I was there I helped save that world with people that held strange traits just like my own. Something there in particular came to mind when I thought of what I would need to decontaminate Japan while keeping outside forces from controlling it."

Alarms different than the ones already activated from Hishigami Mai's intrusion started to resound throughout the compound as the rumbling only grew louder. The largest screen of the terminal started to display a camera feed from a large production facility a few kilometers away from the facility. The massive front doors of the even larger building opened up to reveal something that looked like a giant metal ball with floats attached to the bottom. Attached all over the strange vehicle(?) were various guns and sensors, and facing forward on either side were massive cannons.

The blonde scientist idly sipped at his coffee some more as he talked to the person who came to incapacitate him. "In that world, these were known as Objects, said to be synonymous with war. In their original world they were first created by Japan, but the rest of the world quickly developed their own and Japan was once again crushed. Well, I've taken certain steps with Madoka and the succubus to make sure that doesn't happen."

That day, the world was once again irreversibly changed. The weapon known as the Object became synonymous with destruction and guarded a certain island country against any opposition as decontamination efforts proceeded.


	6. Church of the Little Sister

Hello all, finally another update here. This idea was pretty much handed to me by HO12, so I had to go with it before the spark faded. I'll admit I've had very little motivation to write lately, and as such have not updated anything in a while. If I manage to get my motivation running again, HO12 gave me a perfect "tool" if you will, for _A More Forceful Offer_

Not much else to say now aside from this being the first inclusion of Kyousuke since this wouldn't require translations to catch up to get a good feel of his character.

Ramblings aside, read and enjoy.

* * *

 _"_ _Onii-chan, you need some counseling. I'm not helping you with any more jobs until you head to one of these meetings to set your life back on the right path!"_

With a note detailing the location and time of his supposed "counseling" in hand, a young man in a brown and black track hoodie arrived at the door of what appeared to be a church. At a glance, it seemed normal, but he found that he did not recognize the strange logo on the signs. A bad feeling came over him when he saw what appeared to be twintails on one of them, and the visage of pure white briefly popped up in his mind.

 _"I don't think Aika would send me anywhere too weird unless it was for work and she should know how dangerous_ She _is after that incident with Guard of Honor...I hope."_

Shaking his head to get rid of his hesitation, he opened the large front door and stepped inside. The interior of the building was very church-like just like the exterior, and he found that there were a fair few people around his age loitering and talking. Most of them seemed to be boys about his age with a few girls as well; he noticed most of them seemed to be wearing their school uniforms. Before he could start trying to figure out what the place was supposed to be, he and everybody else were ushered into the main sanctuary.

He continued to observe his surroundings as he calmly walked over and sat in a pew towards the back. Soon after, another seemingly hesitant young man with a strong build and brown hair sat down next to him. The new arrival glanced around and leaned over as he whispered.

"Hey, do you know anything about this? My buddy insisted I come with him but he can be a bit...weird sometimes. This whole thing is kind of creeping me out." The young man in the track hoodie shrugged at the question and plainly responded. "I have no idea, a friend of mine insisted I come here for some sort of counseling, but I'm starting to doubt her intentions."

The two young men made brief eye contact and nodded as they shook hands, the newer arrival spoke first.

"I'm Heivia Winchell, my buddy Quenser insisted I come here for reasons I don't know and am starting to distrust."

"I'm Shiroyama Kyousuke, I was told to come here by one of my middlemen for work for reasons I don't know and am starting to distrust."

Before the two could bond any further, a young man with blonde hair walked up to the front of the sanctuary and started speaking over a microphone. "Be seated, be seated! Church will now commence! Father Tsuchimikado will now begin the sermon!" As the speaker backed up a few steps and handed the microphone to another young man with dyed blonde hair, Heivia mumbled to himself.

"What the hell is Quenser doing up there, and what the fuck is he wearing?" Kyousuke felt his eye starting to twitch a bit at the sight before him. At the front was the young man who took the microphone; he wore what seemed to be a loosely buttoned Hawaiian shirt and several gold necklaces. Behind him to the right was the blonde young man who had called the crowd to attention; he wore something that looked like military causal wear, but Kyousuke wasn't sure how to classify it. On the other side was another young man of similar age wearing a sweatshirt under a clean, white laboratory coat. All three of them also wore some sort of strange striped cloth around their necks, and the whole scene was surreal even to somebody as used to eccentric people as a veteran summoner.

"Hear ye, hear ye, my brothers and sisters, for today is another day we celebrate!" Kyousuke could feel a headache growing for reasons he was not yet sure he wanted to know. To his side, he noticed that Heivia had curled up and placed his head in his hands. The veteran summoner was tempted to ask the man seated next to him if he knew anything, but the answer arrived in the form of the words said by the speaker at the pulpit.

"Verily, we celebrate the perfection that is the little sister! For their innocence, we will endure many hardships! For their happiness, we will consume the beloved covenant! For their safety, we will defy the entire world! This, my brothers and sisters, is our solemn vow!" As he sat there with his mouth agape, Kyousuke could hear Heivia seated next to him speaking into his hands. "He actually did it, that stupid son of a bitch actually went and helped found a church of the little sister. How the hell am I going to tell the Princess about this?"

All around them, the normal-looking people started shouting with the strange young men on the stage area. With their microphones, the men at the front were heard well above the others.

"Glory to the little sister who tries to take care of her older brother nya!"

"Death to those who threaten the little sister, may they sink to the bottom of the ocean!"

"For our little sister, we will violate the greatest taboos! Yeah!"

Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck starting to tingle, Kyousuke made a prompt decision. "I'm getting the hell out of here, I need to have a little talk with Aika." As Kyousuke started to shift along to pew towards the exit, Heivia started to follow. "Agreed, I'm going to punch that stupid bastard later for getting me to come here."

As they made their exit, the young man with natural blonde hair on the stage pointed to them and shouted. "Don't let that bastard escape! He has more little sisters than he dares to count and he has the gall to leave!"

At those words, everybody in the room turned to glare at Heivia. As the young man started to move towards the exit with increased speed, the other attendees started to get up and quickly rush for them. As the hands started to grab at Heivia, Kyousuke quickly jumped from the pew and made a dash for the door. As he felt himself being left behind, Heivia shouted at his fellow escapee.

"Hey, don't leave me behind with these weirdos you bastard, take me with you!" As he made his escape, Kyousuke briefly thought about helping, but the young man behind him did not speak the cursed words, so instead of going back to help he simply pulled a flashbang grenade out of his pocket, pulled the pin, and tossed it behind him. As he dove through the door into the hallway, he heard the muffled small explosion of the grenade detonation and a sudden increase in the amount of obscenities being shouted. The loudest was still the panicked Heivia. "Ow, dammit that blinded me too that doesn't solve anything at all! Get back here and get me out of this meeesssssssssssss!"

After making his way outside and blending into the crowd, Kyousuke silently was relived that he had not heard the cursed words of "help me".


	7. Quick Bits 3

Hello all, it's been quite a while. I had not intended it to be so long between updates, but I just never really felt like writing anything. I've started to get myself a little more motivated lately, but I don't really know how much that will last.

I really don't have much else to say but read and enjoy.

* * *

 **Standby for Titanfall**

Dashing around and running along the walls, battlefield student Quenser Barbotage was currently in an experimental full-dive VR simulation based on an old video game made in the former United States. While the student was making all sorts of acrobatic moves, it was not due to his own skill as he was getting assistance from the AI that was overseeing his actions. This VR simulation was an experimental training method, and Quenser was one of the ones chosen to test it due to his mix of field experience while also lacking basic training. However if he was to be honest, Quenser didn't care at all for the details, he was just having fun.

"Alright, it's time! Call it in Froleytia!" At his declaration, the heads up display marked a point in the ground a few dozen meters in front of him on a street between some packed-in buildings. Through the communication channel his commanding officer Froleytia Capistrano happily shouted.

"It took you long enough Quenser. Standby for titanfall!" With a thunderous crash, a mass of metal came slamming down to the ground at the marked location. It was a heavily armored bipedal war machine with a massive gatling gun strapped to the back. As he approached the machine, Quenser took a moment to admire the piece of military hardware.

"Beautiful isn't it? Objects are quite fine but the humanoid ones have their distinctive set of romance. The old Island Nation knew their stuff with those old shows." While the student stood still staring at his new machine, another, slightly less armored titan walked up behind him. In sharp contrast to the new arrival's dull metallic color, the cute rabbit mascot of the Legitimacy Kingdom 37th Maintenance Battalion was plastered across the front. The one piloting the titan addressed Quenser.

"Quenser, hurry up and get in, I can't keep you from getting shot forever." At the insistence of the 37th's own "princess" Milinda, Quenser looked up to the currently closed cockpit of his titan.

"You say that, but how do I get into this thing anywa- woah!" At his question, the machine reached over with it's left arm and grabbed him as it opened it's cockpit. "Oi, oi, oi what is this!? Froleytia, is this supposed to happen!?" At the panicked students inquiry, his commander replied.

"There's supposed to be some way to get it to do that, maybe the AI is advanced enough to pick up on audio cues? It should be fine either way, it's only a simulation." When placed inside the cockpit, Quenser took a moment to look around at the various controls. Following the instructions he was given beforehand, he pressed a few buttons and flipped a couple of switches to get the cockpit to close. As the visual displays booted up, he was greeted by the cheerful voice of a young girl.

"Welcome aboard pilot, we shall crush our enemies together, Oh ho ho!"

"...Oh ho ho?"

The student's hands froze just before they could reach the controls when he heard the voice of an elite from an enemy nation. The titan piloted by Milinda turned it's "face" towards his titan and he could feel a glare that he could not see.

"Quenser…Just what is this meaning of this?" As he felt the princess's irritation rise, the young man quickly tried to talk his way out. "Wait, wait, wait! I have no idea what's going on here!"

While he was busy talking, Quenser's titan grabbed the massive gatling gun from it's back and held it in both hands pointed at the princess's titan. As the gun started spinning up to fire, Milinda's titan dashed away towards cover. The low sound coming from the gun sounded more like vibrations than gunfire, and bullets impacted all over the building that Milinda had taken cover behind.

"Oh ho ho! You are not needed here anymore you unsophisticated girl! Flee in terror and know your place!"

"Wait, how come I can't control this thing at all!? Huh? What's this popping up? 'Smart Core'?"

"Understood, oh ho ho, Smart Core Activated! Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhohohohohohohohohohooooohhhhh!"

"Somebody stop this damn thing and get me out of here!"

* * *

 **Gorgeouspalace Special**

"Alright, the charges are set, who wants to take point? There's no hostages in this room so you can go as wild as you want." Gathered around the outside wall of an old, previously-abandoned concrete building in Oceania, members of the 37th were preparing to eliminate a group of terrorists that had been causing trouble. Private Heivia Winchell double-checked his rifle and detached the scope in preparation for the breach as battlefield student Quenser Barbotage adjusted his handheld radio to the appropriate frequency.

The soldiers surrounding the breach point looked around at each other, but before anyone could volunteer one of them noticed something. "Hey, wait, where did Myonri go?" From around the corner they heard footsteps, and the comparatively small woman arrived carrying a weapon that seemed to be almost as big as she was. While they squad stood in confusion, Heivia was the first to speak up.

"What the hell is that thing?" At the inquiry, Myonri smiled and hefted the gun in her hands. "Oh this beauty? This here is a custom-made light machine shotgun firing 12-gauge buckshot at 500 rounds per minute with special recoil-mitigation made so even someone with a frame as small as mine can handle it. I, uh, found it lying around somewhere." A strange look entered the girl's eye as she described the terrifying piece of equipment. Sensing danger, Heivia quickly raised his hand and shouted.

"Alright, I vote that Myonri takes point!" The other soldiers quickly agreed and backed away from the girl as she cheerfully moved to take the lead position on the left side of the door. An authoritative sound resounded as she chambered a round, and she sweetly smiled at the terrified Quenser who was holding the detonation radio. "Shall we start then?"

At her request, the young student detonated the charges, and the small girl charged through the new hole into the room. A deafening roar shocked even the more veteran soldiers, but even that could not drown out the high-pitched maniacal laughter coming from the normally shy Myonri as she completely annihilated everything in the room. Despite his role as the follow-up to Myonri's advance, Heivia found himself frozen in what he wasn't sure was fear or arousal, and the rest of the squad started to back even further away from the hole.

When the shooting stopped, the petite woman walked back out through the hole with a spring in her step while humming a cute little tune. The rest of the squad nervously peeked into the room and found nothing but devastation as hardly anything remained of the room or any of the humans that had been living inside only a moment before. One of the younger soldiers turned green as he staggered away from the hole to vomit while Heivia called in the mission success over the radio.

"Well, uh, mission complete. I hope we didn't need their bodies for anything."

* * *

Well it's probably obvious, but I've been playing a lot of Titanfall and I couldn't help but really want a crossover with Heavy Object titan AI voices. At least Frontier Defense scratches the itch slightly with The Last Resort's Davis and Droz feeling a little bit like Heivia and Quenser. As for Myonri's shotgun, if you haven't read the Index novels you might not recognize Stephanie's shotgun, but I couldn't help but think of it when Myonri picked an auto-shotgun in volume 12.


End file.
